jillithian: (typewriter)
I survived. Read more... )Thank goodness for the holidays, eh?
jillithian: (Polly)
It's funny.

I've been married for over two years now. I changed my last name and even enrolled into grad school with my married name. However, since my grad school is the same university as my under-grad, all of their records continued to show me with my maiden name. I had left it as is until this summer when the Graduation Fear hit me and I finally thought about changing my school name to reflect my current name.

It's funny how it took me a while to decide to do this, and even now I'm a little hesitant and resistant.

Is that strange?


There's the stereotypical newly engaged girl who practices writing her new married name over and over again. And then there was me.

Tim proposed on Christmas (his favorite holiday) and my very first Christmas ever away from my family. My parents had just moved down to Florida and my brother was ending his first semester at college in Madison. Christmas involved a day surrounded by Tim's family and New Years involved two days surrounded by Tim's friends. I was suffering from a complete loss of identity. Where did Jill fit into all of this? I didn't have my family. I didn't have my friends. I was even going to lose my name. At one point on New Years Eve, I broke away from the group and sat in a chair in the hotel hallway - packed with people waiting for the show to start - and just cried. There I was - the newly engaged girl with the pretty ring on her finger - crying by herself on New Years Eve.


I don't know if this name on my diploma thing stems from the same issue or if it's just more a matter of pride. An oddly placed pride, but pride nonetheless. It falls along the same lines of me not wanting any kind of monetary help in paying for my grad school. My parents and my husband have all offered to help me pay for it, but I have been consistently turning them down. Now, I know the cash gifts my parents sometimes give me and the motorcycle Tim bought me have all helped my financial state, but none have been given directly for my grad school payments. I want to know that I accomplished this myself. I've saved up all of the money for this schooling myself and I'm not in debt to anyone for it, either. I want my name to be on that diploma because I've earned it and worked for it. I'm just not sure right now what name I want it to be.

I feel like I'm in a constant reevaluation of who I am and where I am in my life and relationships. Is it always like this? It's just tiring. I wish I could just turn my brain off some days (most days) and just be.
jillithian: (Wedding Day)
I don't know what that karma is smokin', but it has gotta be some good stuff.

So today I'm all tired and crabby. I still can't run the effin NCOA to save my life. I figure for sure it is the memory that is overloaded as it isn't every day we try to run it on 5 million names. But even after I trim it down to just 280k, it still freezes. What's worse is that after that job is run, I have another 700,000 names I also have to run an NCOA on. And that job was due today. I finally put in a work order with the software company this morning because I've run out of options.

Do you know what the problem was?

Apparently, recently the USPS decided to add the nickname "Zeke" to their nickname table to help make matches on people who have moved. And now, whenever there is a record with the first name of "Zeke", our program freezes and doesn't know what to do. There were 14 Zeke records in our 5 million name file. And at least 1 in the 700k file. How fucking obscure is that shit?

So, anyway, our software company has a fix that is in the new release that hasn't been released yet. They try to send me the specific bug fix program. All day long, I wasn't getting any emails from them and we couldn't figure it out, no matter what the IT team thought of. We renamed the thing, sent it to different emails, everything. At 1:45 I was ready to start stabbing anyone who even tried to talk to me. It wasn't until about 2pm we finally FTPed the file over. It fixed the issue. However, I was still unable to get the job out that was due today. But really, how bullshit of an issue is "the program doesn't like the first name of Zeke"?

I was totally having a terrible day and didn't want to think about the gigantic projects that are all coming in right now and I am one of the few people who knows how to work on them and I'm fried from working mandatory overtime and my house is a mess and I didn't have any ideas for xmas gifts for the parents and they're coming tomorrow!

And then around 3pm I get a phone call from one of the Nahans. They have a bunch of season tickets to the SCSU basketball and hockey games and give 'em to people if they can't make it. I just got four tickets to Friday night's Husky hockey game. My mom loves hockey. My dad likes hockey. I like hockey. My parents will be here on Friday. I think I almost had a coronary just from the highs and lows of that past hour.

This morning I had texted Tim about how I was so stressed out and didn't want to think about anything. I come home tonight to a clean living room, the christmas tree is lit, the fireplace is ready to be lit, and the presents I got for my dad in April that I couldn't find were sitting on my desk chair. Seriously. I just can't believe how thoughtful he is sometimes. How did I get so fucking lucky?

Anyhoo... yeah. Fuckin' karma, man.
jillithian: (cabin at sunset)
brain fried and tired.

Tomorrow will be seven months :)

the 'rents will be in late Thursday/early Friday

I have yet to find either of their presents (my dad's is bought but misplaced and my mom's is unknown)

Tim's present, against most odds, may be in on Thursday despite three phone calls from the company in the past two days since I've ordered it.

History bit me this weekend. The first time in about a year at least. I think she's crabby at me that I'm working late and not playing with her as much.

I'm unsure on karma. Last night I bought a box of clementines to share with co-workers and a $5 food shelf bag when I went grocery shopping. Today I find a shiny dime on the ground in production and got a "you did a good job today" from the company's CEO after a meeting with a potential new client. And, since the client was in a hurry, I got a free lunch out of the food they brought in for the client that wasn't touched!

Then, this afternoon, I couldn't run a damn NCOA to save my life (I have a call in to the software company) and then I burnt my poptarts I was having for dinner. The afternoon sucked pretty much in general.

Perhaps my karma is just evening out with the CEO thing. Hopefully he doesn't think I'm a big negative person anymore.

*shrug*

It's not even 9pm yet. Is it too early to go to bed?
jillithian: (Polly)
Got some shiznit done. The swag is all glued. Only burnt myself once with the glue gun (although it is creating a tiny blister). The last batch of programs are printing and Tim is folding them. Got back from seeing the movie "Inside Man" with my parents, as Tim was knocked out with Nyquil, and it was a decent show. I'm sleepy now. But in a much better mood. It's amazing what a good cry in the arms of your love can do for your outlook.
jillithian: (Grumpy)
And.... the invites goes to 200.

And.... I have to call my grandmother with whom I find talking a very trying task

And.... I don't even have enough god damned stamps for the fucking four more invitations I have to send out tomorrow.

And my parents keep saying that they'll pay for these extra people. And that's all fine and dandy, but I still don't think they'd like it if they had to eat in the parking lot because the room is too full!

*flails arms around wildly and finishes off the bottle of wine*
jillithian: (Grumpy)
good golly miss molly

my head aches and now I feel sick to my stomach.

That second one could be because I just ate 8 servings of gardettos in one sitting.

I am never getting married again. Ever.

The hall can only hold 160 people. And that's tight quarters.

The permit for the park is for 149 people.

The invite list now stands at 188 people. And that's after only adding two of the four people my parents called me and told me to invite tonight. And that isn't including Tim and me!

I showed them the fucking list a year ago. They agreed on crossing off some names and when I asked them if there were any others they wanted me to invite, they said "Oh don't worry. Just invite who you want to be there. It's your wedding."

Then a year goes buy. I send out the invitations. Two weeks later they decide that I need to invite more of their friends. They call me at 6:20pm - 11 hours and 20 minutes into day 5 of seven on. They want me to send them the list of people I invited. At first I'm sure they think its just so they know what people they can talk to about the wedding. But I know as soon as I send it they are going to have additions and subtractions.

Sorry! Invitations were mailed two weeks ago!

My head is pounding.

When we originally booked the hall last summer, I was thinking it was going to be too big.

GAH!

And when my dad called, I told him it was kind of a stressful topic for me and then he hung up on me! He said, "Oh. OK. We'll talk about it later, then. CLICK!"

I just want people to respond so I can get some idea of what the actual numbers will be...

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Jill

February 2017

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