family relations
Dec. 26th, 2008 03:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jillithianI survived.
My brother graduated from college on Sunday in Madison with a double major in accounting and insurance.
My mom was up in the cities all of last week for her work and drove over to Madison on Friday to attend part of Parr's graduation party. Tim, Dad and I all had to work on Friday. Dad flew up from Tampa on Saturday morning and Tim and I swung through and picked him up at the airport on our way to Madison. The roads were terrible - lots of snow and ice - so luckily Tim was generous enough to let us take his four wheel drive pickup for the trip. We took a slight detour to a Target on the East side of Madison (I needed a swim suit) before we finally arrived at the hotel around 5:30pm. We had left our house at 8:30am. We sat in the hot tub, had some beer and pizza, watched some HBO and passed out early.
The graduation ceremonies were split into two, so Parr's class wasn't up until 2pm on Sunday. We had a bit of breakfast at the hotel, checked out, picked Parr up, and then had some more food at Denny's. It was 32 degrees below zero windchill that day. Brrrrr..... The ceremony was a ceremony. People talked about stuff. Asked for money for the college. Tried to be inspiring or funny or both. Then many names were quickly butchered as one thousand persons graduated into one of the worst economies we've seen in a decade. And it was fucking cold out, too.
There were reports of another snow storm to hit on Monday, so we decided to make the drive back to St. Cloud on Sunday night. Not only is it below zero and dark, the roads are crappy and icy. On our way into Madison on Saturday we saw almost 50 cars and trucks in the ditch. I only counted 3 or 4 on the way back, but that might have been because I was trying to keep up with my mom. She is a speed demon - and she didn't even have 4 wheel drive. Tim was insisting I keep it under 80 mph (the speed limit is 65 on I-94 between Madison and Minnesota) as that was the recommended limit his truck manual said for 4 wheel drive. Even at close to 80, Mom was getting further and further ahead of us. Perhaps she wasn't too worried that our house was locked and she did not have a key. I guess the fact that the car she was driving was just a rental helped prevent any worry she may have had. We did eventually make it home before midnight just before my parents (who stopped for gas when they hit town).
Monday, Dad and I shoveled a lot. He fixed the snow blower and then he snowblowed, too. Never one to back down for more pro-jects and putzing, he also dug out the manual for the thing and gave me a list of maintenance recommendations that I've quickly forgotten. We were still in high spirits and in a likable state. Even the long drive to Madison in the same vehicle was completed in a happy state. We discussed the bathroom pro-ject and the future kitchen pro-ject. And fixing the ceiling crack and moving the chimney pipe and replacing windows. And things were still hunky dory. Parr arrived at the end of the night (he had some packing to do and some friends to visit first, so didn't leave until Monday morning).
Tuesday, we left Tim home as the rest of us piled into Mom's rental and Parr's pickup to drive down to Willmar to visit Grandma. Dad hadn't seen her since a funeral on his birthday last year. She was expecting us. We took her to Applebee's for lunch (her favorite restaurant, but she didn't even know where it was). Spent a couple of hours visiting and getting the latest gossip on the family, then dropped her off at her assisted living facility, took pictures, and left. Stopped by my cousin's workplace (apparently no one really buys insurance on December 23rd) to drop the brother off, but was called back to Grandma's to pick up some antique shot glasses. Parr stayed in Willmar for the night to celebrate with cousins and the parents and I drove back up to St. Cloud.
Christmas Eve is traditionally the day my family celebrates, so I spent the day preparing and cooking for us. (I used recipes in the cookbook slated for a Hannukah dinner. Plus a green bean dish with bacon. Evens it out in the end, methinks.) Parr arrived before noon and I had the guinea pig dinner all ready by quarter after 1 (only about 15 minutes later than I hoped, which is good for me!). A couple of hours later, somehow we decided to order pizza for dinner. But the pizza places were all closed. And so were the sandwich delivery places. But the Chinese food delivery was available, so we ordered some of that.
It was just before the Chinese food arrived that my patience was wearing thin. I think I did fairly well, considering being stuck in the same vehicle/hotel room/house as my family during cold and crappy driving conditions that many days in a row. Perhaps it was the fact that I had cooked a lot of food all day and they were preferring greasy take-out over the left overs for dinner. Perhaps it was the fact that just as we were sitting down to lunch and passing the dishes around, Dad decided to get up and start sweeping rice off the kitchen floor (with the gravy boat waiting by his plate). Perhaps it was the fact that I had to herd the family members into the living room to open presents - much like cat herding, one could say. Perhaps it was that the Chinese food arrived just after only the second present was opened and Dad jumped up to start doling out dinner rather than continue opening the gifts. Perhaps it was the constant yammering that hadn't stopped since we parked at the airport on Saturday. Who knows. But my patience was wearing thin. The night ended with us watching Holiday Inn (our Christmas Eve traditional movie) amid my dad's and my own snores on the couch.
Christmas Day is the big one for Tim's family. He got up at 7am to start cooking and didn't really sit down until late afternoon. (His food was FANTASTIC, by the way.) His family started arriving just before 11am. Guitar Hero was played by many (serving in the armed forces makes the best Guitar Hero players, proven by our Navy-man nephew Alex), and more than enough wine and food was eaten. Somewhere in there, I was sitting next to my dad on a couch when he told me to take back both of the presents I had given him. "Don't be offended," he said. "Buy yourself something nice." Of course my feelings were hurt. He's the hardest person in the world to find gifts for. If he needs something, he'll buy it himself. If you buy him something, he'll return it or make you return it. This was the first time he was trying to make me return it. I had gotten him a nice silk Hawai'ian shirt to wear and then a $20 Pay-As-You-Go cell phone for Walgreens. He doesn't have a cell phone and the whole past week and a half had been complaining about not having one and being worried about getting picked up at the airport by us and all of that. I figured a cheap little cell phone he only needs to pay for when he uses would be perfect for him, and the company was the same I have which has coverage in International Falls (not many do). But he told me to take it back.
This morning I finally figured out he thought it cost over $100 dollars for the phone. I told him that it was only twenty bucks from the drug store. "Oh," he said. "Well, then take it back and use the money to buy dog treats instead." He started yammering on about his work's cell phone policy and not wanting his boss to get mad at him or to call him and kept making excuses about why he didn't want to keep the thing. What I really wanted to do was to go drive back down to Willmar and have a talking to the woman that raised him to not gracefully accept gifts. And to "accidentally" push him face first in the snow. With a little kick to the behind, as well.
But this morning finally came. The house was emptied of all guests before noon. Hugs were given. For the most part, my relationship with my father has been strained back to where it was the last time he visited. Multiple five minute or less weekly phone calls will be made before we go back to forgetting that we're too much alike (stubborn and opinionated with no filter between the brain and the mouth) to get along for too long. My relationship with my brother has improved, however, and we enjoyed a good chat on the drive down to Willmar together. So that's good. And Mom and I get along just fine as usual. Tim hasn't left me after having to put up with me and my family for this long, so I'm also thankful for that.
Thank goodness for the holidays, eh?
My brother graduated from college on Sunday in Madison with a double major in accounting and insurance.
My mom was up in the cities all of last week for her work and drove over to Madison on Friday to attend part of Parr's graduation party. Tim, Dad and I all had to work on Friday. Dad flew up from Tampa on Saturday morning and Tim and I swung through and picked him up at the airport on our way to Madison. The roads were terrible - lots of snow and ice - so luckily Tim was generous enough to let us take his four wheel drive pickup for the trip. We took a slight detour to a Target on the East side of Madison (I needed a swim suit) before we finally arrived at the hotel around 5:30pm. We had left our house at 8:30am. We sat in the hot tub, had some beer and pizza, watched some HBO and passed out early.
The graduation ceremonies were split into two, so Parr's class wasn't up until 2pm on Sunday. We had a bit of breakfast at the hotel, checked out, picked Parr up, and then had some more food at Denny's. It was 32 degrees below zero windchill that day. Brrrrr..... The ceremony was a ceremony. People talked about stuff. Asked for money for the college. Tried to be inspiring or funny or both. Then many names were quickly butchered as one thousand persons graduated into one of the worst economies we've seen in a decade. And it was fucking cold out, too.
There were reports of another snow storm to hit on Monday, so we decided to make the drive back to St. Cloud on Sunday night. Not only is it below zero and dark, the roads are crappy and icy. On our way into Madison on Saturday we saw almost 50 cars and trucks in the ditch. I only counted 3 or 4 on the way back, but that might have been because I was trying to keep up with my mom. She is a speed demon - and she didn't even have 4 wheel drive. Tim was insisting I keep it under 80 mph (the speed limit is 65 on I-94 between Madison and Minnesota) as that was the recommended limit his truck manual said for 4 wheel drive. Even at close to 80, Mom was getting further and further ahead of us. Perhaps she wasn't too worried that our house was locked and she did not have a key. I guess the fact that the car she was driving was just a rental helped prevent any worry she may have had. We did eventually make it home before midnight just before my parents (who stopped for gas when they hit town).
Monday, Dad and I shoveled a lot. He fixed the snow blower and then he snowblowed, too. Never one to back down for more pro-jects and putzing, he also dug out the manual for the thing and gave me a list of maintenance recommendations that I've quickly forgotten. We were still in high spirits and in a likable state. Even the long drive to Madison in the same vehicle was completed in a happy state. We discussed the bathroom pro-ject and the future kitchen pro-ject. And fixing the ceiling crack and moving the chimney pipe and replacing windows. And things were still hunky dory. Parr arrived at the end of the night (he had some packing to do and some friends to visit first, so didn't leave until Monday morning).
Tuesday, we left Tim home as the rest of us piled into Mom's rental and Parr's pickup to drive down to Willmar to visit Grandma. Dad hadn't seen her since a funeral on his birthday last year. She was expecting us. We took her to Applebee's for lunch (her favorite restaurant, but she didn't even know where it was). Spent a couple of hours visiting and getting the latest gossip on the family, then dropped her off at her assisted living facility, took pictures, and left. Stopped by my cousin's workplace (apparently no one really buys insurance on December 23rd) to drop the brother off, but was called back to Grandma's to pick up some antique shot glasses. Parr stayed in Willmar for the night to celebrate with cousins and the parents and I drove back up to St. Cloud.
Christmas Eve is traditionally the day my family celebrates, so I spent the day preparing and cooking for us. (I used recipes in the cookbook slated for a Hannukah dinner. Plus a green bean dish with bacon. Evens it out in the end, methinks.) Parr arrived before noon and I had the guinea pig dinner all ready by quarter after 1 (only about 15 minutes later than I hoped, which is good for me!). A couple of hours later, somehow we decided to order pizza for dinner. But the pizza places were all closed. And so were the sandwich delivery places. But the Chinese food delivery was available, so we ordered some of that.
It was just before the Chinese food arrived that my patience was wearing thin. I think I did fairly well, considering being stuck in the same vehicle/hotel room/house as my family during cold and crappy driving conditions that many days in a row. Perhaps it was the fact that I had cooked a lot of food all day and they were preferring greasy take-out over the left overs for dinner. Perhaps it was the fact that just as we were sitting down to lunch and passing the dishes around, Dad decided to get up and start sweeping rice off the kitchen floor (with the gravy boat waiting by his plate). Perhaps it was the fact that I had to herd the family members into the living room to open presents - much like cat herding, one could say. Perhaps it was that the Chinese food arrived just after only the second present was opened and Dad jumped up to start doling out dinner rather than continue opening the gifts. Perhaps it was the constant yammering that hadn't stopped since we parked at the airport on Saturday. Who knows. But my patience was wearing thin. The night ended with us watching Holiday Inn (our Christmas Eve traditional movie) amid my dad's and my own snores on the couch.
Christmas Day is the big one for Tim's family. He got up at 7am to start cooking and didn't really sit down until late afternoon. (His food was FANTASTIC, by the way.) His family started arriving just before 11am. Guitar Hero was played by many (serving in the armed forces makes the best Guitar Hero players, proven by our Navy-man nephew Alex), and more than enough wine and food was eaten. Somewhere in there, I was sitting next to my dad on a couch when he told me to take back both of the presents I had given him. "Don't be offended," he said. "Buy yourself something nice." Of course my feelings were hurt. He's the hardest person in the world to find gifts for. If he needs something, he'll buy it himself. If you buy him something, he'll return it or make you return it. This was the first time he was trying to make me return it. I had gotten him a nice silk Hawai'ian shirt to wear and then a $20 Pay-As-You-Go cell phone for Walgreens. He doesn't have a cell phone and the whole past week and a half had been complaining about not having one and being worried about getting picked up at the airport by us and all of that. I figured a cheap little cell phone he only needs to pay for when he uses would be perfect for him, and the company was the same I have which has coverage in International Falls (not many do). But he told me to take it back.
This morning I finally figured out he thought it cost over $100 dollars for the phone. I told him that it was only twenty bucks from the drug store. "Oh," he said. "Well, then take it back and use the money to buy dog treats instead." He started yammering on about his work's cell phone policy and not wanting his boss to get mad at him or to call him and kept making excuses about why he didn't want to keep the thing. What I really wanted to do was to go drive back down to Willmar and have a talking to the woman that raised him to not gracefully accept gifts. And to "accidentally" push him face first in the snow. With a little kick to the behind, as well.
But this morning finally came. The house was emptied of all guests before noon. Hugs were given. For the most part, my relationship with my father has been strained back to where it was the last time he visited. Multiple five minute or less weekly phone calls will be made before we go back to forgetting that we're too much alike (stubborn and opinionated with no filter between the brain and the mouth) to get along for too long. My relationship with my brother has improved, however, and we enjoyed a good chat on the drive down to Willmar together. So that's good. And Mom and I get along just fine as usual. Tim hasn't left me after having to put up with me and my family for this long, so I'm also thankful for that.
Thank goodness for the holidays, eh?
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no subject
Date: 2008-12-28 03:34 pm (UTC)I'm sorry about your Dad. That seems such a rough way to handle things.
I'm wondering if all this travel is actually worth it. I'm thinking it'd be nicer to stay local for the actual Christmas and make a point of having a special day of reunion with the more distant family on another date a bit later on.
no subject
Date: 2008-12-29 03:42 pm (UTC)